Individual Psychotherapy
Get the support you need
It is easy to feel alone in our thoughts and feelings, especially when we are dealing with more intense thoughts and feelings as a result of trauma, anxiety, depression or other psychological and emotional challenges. Reaching out for support and somebody to talk with is essential in helping us understand we are not alone, that our feelings make sense, and that there is help and a pathway to a more balanced state of well being. Whether we have been struggling on our own in silence for a long time, had periods of support throughout our life, or whether this is something entirely new for us, whenever and however one decides that it is time to seek support is the right time.
How therapy can help
One of the main ways that therapy can help is through establishing a ritual and intentional space to speak openly and honestly about our feelings while being heard and supported by a kind and non judgmental person. Where therapy differs from a friend or family member is that a therapist is not going to immediately rush in to try and “fix” the “problem”. While there are certainly tools, practices and strategies that are very helpful for bringing more immediate relief to intense or debilitating feelings, therapy is not intended for conquering or eliminating our feelings or thoughts. Rather it is a process by which we become more aware of ourselves and all of the different ways that we relate to ourselves, our thoughts and our feelings. Through increasing our self-awareness, we may learn to relate to ourselves, our feelings, thoughts, and sensations in a new way that can reduce the intensity of feelings and bring about more balance in our lives.
Couples Therapy
Choosing Connection
There are many things that can cause a loss of connection in our relationships. Whatever the cause may be, when our connection is waning, our communication also deteriorates. In a short amount of time, sometimes mere moments, one wrong word or tone of voice can send us from a joyful moment together, straight into a conflict. Once in a conflict we may struggle to find the way out of it, feeling misunderstood, hurt, and confused, not knowing what to do. When both partners are in their own “triggered” state, this can cause even greater pain when we say or do things that do not represent our true values or beliefs, but merely reflect a deep survival instinct. If the wounds inflicted from such interactions are left untended and unresolved, deeper hurt and resentment can set in which often fuels more of the same patterns to repeat again. This kind of cycle can easily bring relationships to an end, or right up to the edge. What happened? Why is this person who I loved so effortlessly to begin with now so hard to be around?
If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone and more importantly, there is hope of restoring connection with your partner. Beginning the process of couples therapy is a clear choice and commitment that both partners are making to creating more connection in their relationship. With more connection, we experience a greater capacity for listening, understanding and empathy, which lays the foundation for rebuilding trust and intimacy in our relationship.
There is no pill, no quick fix, no one tool or piece of knowledge or insight that will change everything overnight, relationships take work and regular tending to thrive, just like anything else in life. If both parties are committed to this process of growth and connection with themselves and their partners, couples therapy can be the catalyst and container needed to build the bridge of connection, and re-ignite the spark of love that reminds us why our lives are so much richer, more meaningful and magical when we are with the one we love.
Family Therapy and Community Counseling
What is Family Therapy?
The process of family therapy applies not only to our nuclear family, but can expand to include the people who we share our home with, whether they are our immediate family or they are friends or roommates. It can even include our non-human family members such as the animals that we share our home with. In this way another name for family therapy could be community therapy. Family therapy simply put is a process by which the hurts, conflicts, confusions, or unspoken parts get to be voiced, aired out and brought to light in the context of the whole family or communal unit. Through this process, there is an opportunity to gain greater understanding and empathy with other family members and find greater peace and harmony within the family system.
When do we need family therapy?
While individual psychotherapy is integral for one’s own process of growth, sometimes conflicts arise within the context of a specific family group that persist despite the work that we do for ourselves as individuals. In these cases it may be necessary to consider engaging in the process of family therapy. When the conflict between two people spills over from the container of that specific relationship it begins to impact the greater family or community. What starts as a personal conflict between two people can quickly transform into something bigger and more complex and the root of the conflict can easily be lost in the chaos of secondary reactions. Getting to the root of the problem while also working through the intricate web of the subsequent or secondary symptoms is the process of family therapy.
How does it work?
It is my belief that this process works through the involvement and engagement of all members of the family or community. Because of this, it is important for all members of the family to make an effort to be present throughout the process. When conflicts go unaddressed and unresolved for long periods of time, the family has to adjust in some way to accommodate the chronic stress of such a conflict. When this happens, we may know it isn’t working very well, but we cannot figure out how it got this way, let alone how to change it. With the support of a family therapist, the family has a greater capacity to step outside of the “normal” way of functioning together, and create a space for imagining new and creative ways of being together that serve everybody.