Couples Therapy

Choosing Connection

There are many things that can cause a loss of connection in our relationships. Whatever the cause may be, when our connection is waning, our communication also deteriorates. In a short amount of time, sometimes mere moments, one wrong word or tone of voice can send us from a joyful moment together, straight into a conflict. Once in a conflict we may struggle to find the way out of it, feeling misunderstood, hurt, and confused, not knowing what to do. When both partners are in their own “triggered” state, this can cause even greater pain when we say or do things that do not represent our true values or beliefs, but merely reflect a deep survival instinct. If the wounds inflicted from such interactions are left untended and unresolved, deeper hurt and resentment can set in which often fuels more of the same patterns to repeat again. This kind of cycle can easily bring relationships to an end, or right up to the edge. What happened? Why is this person who I loved so effortlessly to begin with now so hard to be around?

If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone and more importantly, there is hope of restoring connection with your partner. Beginning the process of couples therapy is a clear choice and commitment that both partners are making to creating more connection in their relationship. With more connection, we experience a greater capacity for listening, understanding and empathy, which lays the foundation for rebuilding trust and intimacy in our relationship.

There is no pill, no quick fix, no one tool or piece of knowledge or insight that will change everything overnight, relationships take work and regular tending to thrive, just like anything else in life. If both parties are committed to this process of growth and connection with themselves and their partners, couples therapy can be the catalyst and container needed to build the bridge of connection, and re-ignite the spark of love that reminds us why our lives are so much richer, more meaningful and magical when we are with the one we love.